Tamoxifen

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My New treatment plan begins today.

I know it’s been a few weeks!  I took a trip South to visit family and look at houses.  I’m home now and about to start a new chapter on the cancer front.  

Unfortunately, Tamoxifen didn’t work for me.  My tumor marker seems to be rising about 40 points a month.  I’m in the 180’s now.  Today I go for my first Zoladex injection.  I’m not looking forward to it!  That hollow needle looks painful!  If it works I should be going through menopause very soon.  Geez! Can a girl catch a break?  Next week I will start taking Femara and I will continue to get Xgeva and Zoladex shots every four weeks.  I am praying this brings my tumor marker back down.  If not I’ll be back in that chemo chair way sooner than I had hoped!  

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Here’s a picture of the Zoladex injection.  

I’ve gotten so many messages since I’ve been away and I’m reading them now.  Most are wondering about my reconstruction.  I will tell you I am healed and so very happy with the results!  I will do a post on it this week.

 

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Farewell Tamoxifen, I wish we could have been friends longer!

As much as I hated the hot flashes and weight gain that Tamoxifen caused (yes, I’m going to blame the weight gain on tamoxifen..lol!) They were things I could deal with to keep my cancer at bay.  I was being positive and hoping I would be lucky and have a five year relationship with that pill!  No luck there!  My tumor marker has risen to 108.  Not good!  That means Tamoxifen is no longer working for me.  I had a PET scan a few weeks ago and it looked good. Now I’m scheduled for a bone scan and a CAT scan.  The results will tell us what’s next.

I have to say I’m devastated!  This is not the way I wanted to start a new year!  You know when your about to have a baby and you go through this “nesting phase”?  That’s the only way I know how to describe what I’m feeling.  We had been planning on moving closer to home (Georgia is where we’re from, Colorado is home right now).  Now I feel a certain urgency to move and get settled in closer to home.    Financially, this past year has drained us.  We can’t just up and move tomorrow.  I have one more surgery this month.  Once I recover it’s back to work I go whether I feel like it or not.  I think moving and getting everyone adjusted will give me peace in my heart.

Now, don’t take what I just said the wrong way!  I feel really good.  I have no pain and I’m full of energy.  I’m praying for good test results and I still have my positive attitude.  I just think getting my family closer to home and settled in will let me relax and fight this without worrying if they will be ok if something goes wrong.  Cancer is a b***h!  What more can I say?!

On the bright side, my oldest, Kori, got engaged this week!  I’m so happy for him!  The joys of being a mother!

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Back to Reality

I know it’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted.  I put this cancer business out of my mind and enjoyed some time with my family.  October was a good month!  My little T.J. turned 11!  

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Thats T.J. he’s officially 11 going on 20!  He’s a blessing!

I turned 40!  A few years ago my feelings about turning forty would have been different.  When I first heard stage 4 I didn’t think I would live to see forty.  It feels good to be forty!

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Thats my Javiee eating icing off my nose.  He’s my treasure!  Hey, look at that hair on my head!

Then there was Halloween. T.J. had us out trick or treating for hours.

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I have enjoyed this past month with my guys!  It’s been so nice to be out of “active” treatment.  

I have to say I am so happy with my decision to start reconstruction!  My expanders have been filled twice since placement.  I want to say I’m up to 320 ccs.  The fills were painless and my clothes already fit the way they used to!  I’m not going to post pictures every time I have a fill.  I’m taking pictures every step of the way and I’ll show the progression with the final product.

Today I have an appointment with my oncologist.   I’ve tried not to think about it all week.  I’m a little nervous because for the past two months I’ve only been taking tamoxifen.  I’m praying the tamoxifen and my diet have kept this cancer at bay.  Like the header says, back to reality!

 

 

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5 weeks after chemo…

I’m five weeks out of chemo and my hair is slowly coming back in.  For the past three weeks my Javiee has called me his little Cocoliso.  

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That’s a picture of Cocoliso.  He says I now have to much hair to be called Cocoliso.

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Here’s a picture of my hair! Not the long blonde mane that I’m used to but it’s a start!

 

My last post was on the horrible hot flashes that the Tamoxifen was causing.  I have to say it has gotten so much better!  I’ve been taking it for four weeks now.  The first two weeks were horrible!  I guess my body has adjusted to it well.  I’m only having a couple of hot flashes a day now.  So much easier to deal with!  It’s still scary for me to think that I’m only battling this cancer with a tiny pill.  After so many rounds of chemo this pill seems like nothing!  I go back to my oncologist this Friday for blood work.  Then I’ll know how well it’s working.  Fingers crossed!

 The leg cramps that came with Taxol are still really bad.  I’m taking pain meds daily to deal with them.  Good news is they work and I am enjoying my days!  I can’t say that life is back to normal.  I can say I’m beginning to find my “new” normal and I’m thankful for everyday that I have!  

 

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My new friend….Tamoxifen

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I’ve started a new chapter in my journey with breast cancer.  Tamoxifen.  Today is day seven of my (hopefully) five year friendship with this pill.  It is horrible!  The hot flashes it causes are unbearable!  I’m waking up every hour of the night.  Sweat will literally be dripping from my head.  I hope this will pass soon, my energy level is so low right now!  I read an article on ABC News that says with tamoxifen hot flashes can be a good sign.  I’ll go with that and see them as a good thing.  Though I think a good nights sleep would be a good thing, too!

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Just a quick update on my scan…

I had prayed for the best and prepared myself for the worst.  My scan showed NED ( no evidence of disease)!  All those ” hot spots” on my previous scans were no longer there.  I am in shock!  I am grateful.  I pray my dance with NED lasts a long time!

New treatment plan:  Control the hormones.

I will start Tamoxifen tomorrow.  It’s hard to believe I’m going from all this intense chemo to a pill!  It’s a little scary!

 Right now I’m off to celebrate with my family over ice cream!  Yum!  I haven’t had ice cream in a while and I’m sure it will be a long time before I have it again!