I know it’s been a month! Pinktober has passed! A fellow blogger was doing a special awareness piece for October and I thought I would join in. All you needed to do was video yourself reading a piece she had written. I started reading it and hit the 2-5 yr statistic for stage IV women. Then I realized I will hit my two year mark soon. I couldn’t finish the video. That realization hit me hard. I never think of myself as a statistic. I never really even think of myself as living with stage IV breast cancer. I try not to think about it. I take my pain meds and enjoy life. The last Friday of every month I have a visit with my oncologist. That’s when I visit Cancerland. After each appointment I treat myself to a new restaurant and forget it until the next month. This past month I feel like I’ve lived in Cancerland! That 2-5 yr statistic has been lingering in my head. I’ve been in a funk! I have new pain in my rib and of course I can’t help but wonder if it’s back. I’m scheduled for new scans on the 17th. Having that to think about doesn’t help! I’ve put off getting my tattoo until after scans. I don’t want anything to interfere with those results! I need some good news to ease my thoughts! Until then, it’s Javiee to the rescue! We have decided to spend our weekend decorating for Christmas! I know it’s early! We did this last year because I was suffering from scanxiety and it helped so much! Here’s to getting out of that October funk!
Aside from crazy thoughts of my impending death, life is good in North Carolina! The leaves have changed to red, yellow and orange. It’s beautiful here! We explore a new place every Sunday (family day!). Here’s a picture from last Sunday.
I love you guys and I hope your all doing well! I’m going to catch up with your blogs this weekend.
Tammy Carmona 
I love your positive spirit, despite all the natural anxieties that can be triggered so easily. I love to read about you getting on with loving and living with such joy and enthusiasm. Keep feeling the joy:)))xx
Thank you Sara! I feel the same about you! I love hearing about your trips and seeing your pictures! I hope your feeling good!
You are absolutely an inspiration. I miss you guys! You hang tough and try to keep that wonderful positive attitude you have ❤️
Thanks Tammy! Javiee says hey! We hope your good!
I’ll keep you in my prayers for good results from your scans.
When I went to see my Oncologist last month, she felt around and asked me if a little bump had always been present, since my mastectomies. I told her that I think it had been, because it’s part of the scar, like heavy scar tissue. I’m always scared.
Next month, I’m asking my primary care doctor to up the dosage on my anti-depressants. {{{BIG HUGS TO YOU}}}
OH! I’m also going to be putting up my tree and decorations and don’t care if anyone thinks it’s too early. The lights and decorations make me happy! 😀
It is scary to know we can go from ok to bad so quickly!
Decorate that house! Mine is so pretty! I needed a pick me up and it worked!
dear Tammy,
you are such an inspiration, and I love reading about all the ways you are living life out loud. I will hold you close to my heart right next to the big hope I am sending for your scans to come back clean. the photo of you and Javiee is beautiful – your face has such a glow of love about it. have a blast doing all the Christmas decorating – your Javiee sure knows how to make you happy!
much love,
Karen OOxxOO
He does! I don’t know what I would do without him! Thank you so much Karen! I’ve had a hard month, but decorating (and shopping!) has helped! 🙂
Glad you are doing ok. I saw Kori and Emily they are doing good and look good. Hopefully we will see you soon. Love you, Bev
>>> Tammy Carmona 11/6/2014 2:18 PM >>>
tammycarmona posted: “I know it’s been a month! Pinktober has passed! A fellow blogger was doing a special awareness piece for October and I thought I would join in. All you needed to do was video yourself reading a piece she had written. I started reading it and hit the 2-5 y”
Thanks Beverly! It will be good to see you! :). I think the kids are all. moving up this weekend. We’re celebrating thanksgiving Sunday!
Tammy, Javiee seems unique and very kind. It’s wonderful he is there for you. It’s been a long time since we chatted, sorry. Statistics can be twisted in all kinds of ways, old data, not current, these are in, these are out so try not to fret it too much. Do as you are, live life! Lots of hugs sent your way, and good thoughts for up coming scans. ~D
So good to hear from you! My scans were good! I am so relieved! I hope your feeling good! 🙂
That’s spectacular!! Now enjoy Christmas. ~D
You do the same my friend! 🙂