As much as I hated the hot flashes and weight gain that Tamoxifen caused (yes, I’m going to blame the weight gain on tamoxifen..lol!) They were things I could deal with to keep my cancer at bay. I was being positive and hoping I would be lucky and have a five year relationship with that pill! No luck there! My tumor marker has risen to 108. Not good! That means Tamoxifen is no longer working for me. I had a PET scan a few weeks ago and it looked good. Now I’m scheduled for a bone scan and a CAT scan. The results will tell us what’s next.
I have to say I’m devastated! This is not the way I wanted to start a new year! You know when your about to have a baby and you go through this “nesting phase”? That’s the only way I know how to describe what I’m feeling. We had been planning on moving closer to home (Georgia is where we’re from, Colorado is home right now). Now I feel a certain urgency to move and get settled in closer to home. Financially, this past year has drained us. We can’t just up and move tomorrow. I have one more surgery this month. Once I recover it’s back to work I go whether I feel like it or not. I think moving and getting everyone adjusted will give me peace in my heart.
Now, don’t take what I just said the wrong way! I feel really good. I have no pain and I’m full of energy. I’m praying for good test results and I still have my positive attitude. I just think getting my family closer to home and settled in will let me relax and fight this without worrying if they will be ok if something goes wrong. Cancer is a b***h! What more can I say?!
On the bright side, my oldest, Kori, got engaged this week! I’m so happy for him! The joys of being a mother!