Farewell Tamoxifen, I wish we could have been friends longer!

As much as I hated the hot flashes and weight gain that Tamoxifen caused (yes, I’m going to blame the weight gain on tamoxifen..lol!) They were things I could deal with to keep my cancer at bay.  I was being positive and hoping I would be lucky and have a five year relationship with that pill!  No luck there!  My tumor marker has risen to 108.  Not good!  That means Tamoxifen is no longer working for me.  I had a PET scan a few weeks ago and it looked good. Now I’m scheduled for a bone scan and a CAT scan.  The results will tell us what’s next.

I have to say I’m devastated!  This is not the way I wanted to start a new year!  You know when your about to have a baby and you go through this “nesting phase”?  That’s the only way I know how to describe what I’m feeling.  We had been planning on moving closer to home (Georgia is where we’re from, Colorado is home right now).  Now I feel a certain urgency to move and get settled in closer to home.    Financially, this past year has drained us.  We can’t just up and move tomorrow.  I have one more surgery this month.  Once I recover it’s back to work I go whether I feel like it or not.  I think moving and getting everyone adjusted will give me peace in my heart.

Now, don’t take what I just said the wrong way!  I feel really good.  I have no pain and I’m full of energy.  I’m praying for good test results and I still have my positive attitude.  I just think getting my family closer to home and settled in will let me relax and fight this without worrying if they will be ok if something goes wrong.  Cancer is a b***h!  What more can I say?!

On the bright side, my oldest, Kori, got engaged this week!  I’m so happy for him!  The joys of being a mother!

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19 thoughts on “Farewell Tamoxifen, I wish we could have been friends longer!

  1. Tammy, sorry to hear 2014 is coming in with high winds, that sucks. We can only hope the storm will calm as your scan results come in. My thoughts are with ya. ~D

  2. My little one said we had the best Christmas ever! I have so much to live for! I was looking forward to this new year without active treatment! A girl can hope, right!? It is what it is! Another wait and see! Thank you for your thoughts! I haven’t met you, but I just adore you! 🙂

  3. I’m so sorry, Tammy. There’s always a new period of adjustment to go through when the tumour marker goes up and a new course of action is required, but I just love your indominatible spirit and your ability to see the good in things. Like me, you DO have so much to live for, so let’s keep living and loving every special moment that our lives bring us. My thoughts are with you. Keep strong and keep your bright light shining. Much love and warmest wishes.

  4. Fingers crossed that all will be well. I too have the urgency to move into a new house to give my son some stability if something happens to me. I think most of we stage 4 folk have similar thoughts. We just want what’s best for our family. X

  5. Hi, I have read you thoughts and thought I would tell you i’m going on 7 years with mets, (stage 4 breast cancer) last scan showed was in my ribs but with radiation wow who would of thought the pain went almost all gone. Anyway I go in tomorrow to see the next chapter and if I will continue with tamoxifin. I was on Aromisin then when it advanced to rib she put me on the tamoxifin. I”m also getting infusions of zometa. I wish you all the luck and Gods Blessings…A friend Nancy

    • Nancy, Thank you for your message! How inspiring it is to hear from you! In seven years my little guy will graduate. I pray I’m here for it! I hope the tamoxifen works for you! I was hoping it would for me. I’m just waiting to see what’s next.

  6. I just found your blog. I was diagnosed a couple months after you. I can really relate to what you are going through. My ONC doesn’t do the blood markers and it is frustrating because I don’t know if any of the treatment made any difference. I am Stage 3c and feel like I am blind.
    It is good that your Pet scans was clear. I wanted to share with you that my docs don’t do the blood tumor markers because they say there area lot of false positives. At this point who knows though, right. I hope that your bone and CT scans prove the blood scan wrong. Keep on keeping on.

    • I’m so glad you found my blog Beth! I am hoping my next scans are good and my tumor marker was high for some other reason. I am glad my onc tracks my tumor marker. It feels like something solid that I can follow. It went down with chemo, so I feel like it’s worth following. I haven’t read your blog yet, but I just had surgery so I will soon. Hope your feeling well!

  7. Sorry for the typos. My Kindle is very unforgiving. I should have proofread.

    I meant to say that I feel like I am flying blind with out blood tests and scans.

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