Today’s Wednesday. I love Wednesday, it’s my favorite day of the week. My Javiee is off on Wednesday, so it’s always a special day for us. We go out to breakfast on Wednesday, then we go shopping and get what we need for the week ahead. I know it sounds pretty simple, but it’s our time and we enjoy every second of it. Today’s a little different. Breakfast and then a mammogram (I found a lump in my left breast). I’m thankful my Javiee is with me for my appointment. I wasn’t really worried, I thought it would be nothing. The lady doing my mammogram was so nice, but when she saw the image and said wait right here a minute while the doctor looks at this, he may want to do an ultrasound , I knew there was a problem. Ten minutes later another lady is doing an ultrasound on my breast. She says give me a minute, let me get the doctor, he will want to look at this. I immediately broke down and started crying. In walks the doctor. He looked at the image on the screen and said we need to do a biopsy. Still crying, I asked him for the truth, is it cancer? He said yes. I was then told to get dressed and wait in the female only waiting room for the nurse who would give me my appointment for the biopsy. I got dressed and made it to the waiting room. Then it hit me. I was crying uncontrollably. I didn’t even realize how loud my crys were until I saw my Javiee run around the corner. I told him the news and we hugged and we cried. Then he says maybe it’s not cancer. I couldn’t let him have false hopes because I knew it from the first “wait right here while the doctor looks at this”. These nurses knew what they were looking at, that’s why they got the doctor to look. It was cancer! We walked out with an appointment for a biopsy and an unconfirmed diagnoses of cancer. It was devastating! We stood in the parking lot hugging and crying. How could this be happening to us???
Tammy Carmona 
I’m clicking like, but not really liking this at all. What a terrible day! Reminds me of my experience that first day — and what it was like to walk out to the parking lot knowing that it was cancer (but still waiting for the biopsy results the next day to confirm what they could already see). I’m so sorry you had to experience this crushing news — and all of the pain that I’m sure has come since.
I remember the day that I had my mammogram and I also “knew” that it was cancer even though I was not as brave as you…I was scared to ask out loud if it was cancer or not. But I knew. I spent the next dew days trying to prepare my children and mom to hear the news.
That was a hard day! I think it’s even harder when you have a little one!
My kiddos aren’t as young as yours, so I imagine it would be even harder if they were. My youngest will be 16 in July (my son, Domenic) and my daughter Rebecca will be 18 this year. But it still hit me pretty hard…the first thing a mom’s thoughts go to is their children.
Thank you Debbie. I hope your doing well!
Reblogged this on Tammy Carmona and commented:
Tuesday, February 6, 2018 I hit my five year mark. Five years living with metastatic breast cancer. Being diagnosed at Stage 4 means I’d unknowingly been living with cancer for a while. This was just the day I first heard “you have cancer”. I’ve been blessed the last five years with so many memories. Tonight, in reflection, I’m going back to my first ever blog post. I actually started the blog for my sister who lives in North Dakota. It grew into so much more. You all have become a huge part of my life and I’m grateful. 💕💕💕