Hello Menopause

I made it through my first Zoladex injection.  I iced my stomach for thirty minutes before the shot.  I didn’t feel a thing!  A few hours later I had a horrible migraine.  It lasted for two days.  About a week after the shot I became so hormonal!  This has been a hard month for me!  Zoladex put me right into menopause.  I don’t believe I’ve ever felt this bad.  There have been a few days when I had to make myself get out of bed.  I just felt overwhelmed with sadness.  I bet I’ve cried twenty times these past few weeks and I can’t even tell you why.  Good news is I think it’s passed.  More good news, my family made it through unscathed!  I smile as I write that because my tv remote didn’t fair so well.  It flew across the room one hormonal night when my dvr decided not to work for me. :) Oh the joys of menopause!  

I go today for my second Zoladex injection.  My body should already be adjusted to my new meds.  I’m hoping I have a good month!  It’s hard to feel down when I know I have so much to be thankful for!

My New treatment plan begins today.

I know it’s been a few weeks!  I took a trip South to visit family and look at houses.  I’m home now and about to start a new chapter on the cancer front.  

Unfortunately, Tamoxifen didn’t work for me.  My tumor marker seems to be rising about 40 points a month.  I’m in the 180′s now.  Today I go for my first Zoladex injection.  I’m not looking forward to it!  That hollow needle looks painful!  If it works I should be going through menopause very soon.  Geez! Can a girl catch a break?  Next week I will start taking Femara and I will continue to get Xgeva and Zoladex shots every four weeks.  I am praying this brings my tumor marker back down.  If not I’ll be back in that chemo chair way sooner than I had hoped!  

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Here’s a picture of the Zoladex injection.  

I’ve gotten so many messages since I’ve been away and I’m reading them now.  Most are wondering about my reconstruction.  I will tell you I am healed and so very happy with the results!  I will do a post on it this week.

 

Happy New Year To Me!

A year ago today my Javiee and I were standing in a parking lot hugging and crying. We had just been told I had breast cancer. This has been the hardest year of our lives! I’m so grateful to have made it through this year! Happy New Year to me! May I have many more!

Time for a little happy dance!

The results from my CT and Bone Scan Came back clean!  They show nothing!  I can’t even begin to tell you how relieved I am!  I was sick with worry.  I don’t think there will ever be a time that having new scans done doesn’t stress me.  The results are like a verdict to me.  Am I gonna live or die this year?  It’s horrible! People tell me to relax.  We could all be hit by a car tomorrow.  It’s true, we could.  The difference for me is that I’m not standing on the side of the road.  I’m standing right in the middle waiting for that car to hit me. It’s not an easy way to live! For now I am so thankful to have clean scans!  This has been the hardest year of my life and it ends on Feb the 6th.  I’m ready for my new year!

I’m almost two weeks post op from my final reconstruction surgery.  I’m feeling good and so happy that I did it!  I will do a blog post with pictures soon.  I’ve been so stressed with tumor markers, scans and recovery that I just haven’t felt like doing it!

Here’s another reason for a happy dance!  My little one was inducted to the National Honor Society this week.  He did such a good job giving his speech!  I’m so proud of him!Image

Just a little update

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Monday I go in for my final reconstruction surgery!  Any surgery makes me a little nervous, but I’m ready to get it over with.  I’ll post some pictures of the expansion process this weekend.  The difference with just the expanders is amazing!

My tumor marker is at 108.  That’s not good, but I’m not overly concerned about it right now.  Last week I went down with the flu.  That was three days after my blood work.  I’m hoping that could have made my number higher.  Either way, I’m not going to waste my time worrying about it.  I go in for a bone scan and a CT scan on the 30th.  That’s going to be a long day! I start at 9 am with an injection for the bone scan.  At 9:20 I get my yummy drink for the CT scan.  My CT scan is scheduled for 10:20 and the bone scan is scheduled for 1:00.  Now that’s a day to look forward to!  I have an appointment with my oncologist on the 31st at 3:45.  That’s when I’ll get the results.  Fingers crossed!

Farewell Tamoxifen, I wish we could have been friends longer!

As much as I hated the hot flashes and weight gain that Tamoxifen caused (yes, I’m going to blame the weight gain on tamoxifen..lol!) They were things I could deal with to keep my cancer at bay.  I was being positive and hoping I would be lucky and have a five year relationship with that pill!  No luck there!  My tumor marker has risen to 108.  Not good!  That means Tamoxifen is no longer working for me.  I had a PET scan a few weeks ago and it looked good. Now I’m scheduled for a bone scan and a CAT scan.  The results will tell us what’s next.

I have to say I’m devastated!  This is not the way I wanted to start a new year!  You know when your about to have a baby and you go through this “nesting phase”?  That’s the only way I know how to describe what I’m feeling.  We had been planning on moving closer to home (Georgia is where we’re from, Colorado is home right now).  Now I feel a certain urgency to move and get settled in closer to home.    Financially, this past year has drained us.  We can’t just up and move tomorrow.  I have one more surgery this month.  Once I recover it’s back to work I go whether I feel like it or not.  I think moving and getting everyone adjusted will give me peace in my heart.

Now, don’t take what I just said the wrong way!  I feel really good.  I have no pain and I’m full of energy.  I’m praying for good test results and I still have my positive attitude.  I just think getting my family closer to home and settled in will let me relax and fight this without worrying if they will be ok if something goes wrong.  Cancer is a b***h!  What more can I say?!

On the bright side, my oldest, Kori, got engaged this week!  I’m so happy for him!  The joys of being a mother!

My scan update!

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I had my scan Tuesday.  I went into my oncologists office and while waiting for her this is what I looked at.  I was looking at all these black spots and coming to terms with my impending death!  I can’t even begin to tell you what I was feeling!  It looked really bad to me!  After going through all the images it turns out to be good news!  All that black you see is not cancer!  The cancer that was on my first set of scans is not even showing up!  Praise God!  I am a happy woman!  

Thank you all for your support!  All of you help me get through the hard times!  I truly appreciate everyone of you!  You are all a blessing to me!

Speaking of blessings, look at how big my little man is getting!  Then look at my hair!  I love having hair!

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Change of plans…

Didn’t I say I was going back to my happy little world of denial until after the holidays?!  Change of plans!  I’m now scheduled for a PET scan on the 10th.  Not a test I wanted to have two weeks before Christmas!  Well…It is what it is, the sooner I get used to it the better!

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No, I didn’t eat a cookie! I ate a cupcake!